And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.

...37.

But really, someone asked me the other day what my number was. This brings up a great question. What is in a number? Of course any lady wouldn't flat out say what it REALLY is. It could be 256 for all they know. My friend Pepper used to have different variations of the number point system. The "resume" number. Only the best go on your resume. Oh, guess that means I have slept with 5 people! Awesome, I am 16 again. It feels great really and do I say... fresh even? Of course the whole being a huge whore thing plays a big part in girls who usually sleep with over 100+ people but who the fuck cares. I am not vouching for girls that sleep with hollister mcdouchbag at every frat party in the upstairs bedroom. I like to think that there are some girls who can just be liberated and sleep with just as many guys as to those men who are labeled as casanovas, studs, and even your local pimps.

This is a hard stereotype to diminish. The only example I can think of is Samantha from Sex in the City. But fuck her, I get compared to that old slutbag all the time. The only credit that lady needs is that she wore a pretty sick pink wig once. I am talking about girls who don't give a fuck about what people think and just wanna rock out and kiss a few boys a long the way.

Okay, enough of my stupid banter about how I am trying to accept the fact that I am a little promiscuous. Is there really enough reason to believe that everyone (i am including boys) who has a high number has an STD or daddy problems? I don't think so. The majority yes, but come the fuck on. Think about the 70's and free love and all that jazz. Those dirty sailors never used condoms. Now look at us, in 2010 we use dental dams and flavored black magnum condoms to protect us from all colds our private parts we could possibly get. Hell even the worst disease of all, babies.

super sexy swinging sounds

I've complied a few albums I like to throw on while fucking/making love (depending on my mood and partner).

My Bloody Valentine-Loveless: Lets be stoned and listen to this whilst making out. Shit gets hot and heavy really quick.

Big Black-Songs About Fucking: One of my post-punk art project boyfriends LOVED putting this on and you know what? I enjoy it highly too. It's perfect for day time sex.

Massive Attack-Mezzanine: This was my go-to album for a while. You can't go wrong with trip-hop playing kinda low in the background.

Sleep-Holy Mountain: Okay, I won't lie. Being stoned and having sex is the best feeling in the world. Why wouldn't I want to listen to a band that makes me feel awesome when I listen to it? It only ups my pleasure experience to a whole other level. Plus, I could listen to this album everyday and not get sick of it.

Bauhaus- In the Flat Field: What a great album regardless. I'd like to thank Zoe for introducing me to this album not too long ago. It's pretty perfect for those times when you want to use razor blades on your partner and pull their long black hair before you give them mass amounts of hickeys.

Black Sabbath-Paranoid: Specifically because Planet Caravan is the sexiest song I will ever hear from a band that loves Satan.

Marilyn Manson- Mechanical Animals: How goth/nu-metal do I come off as? Well goddamn-it, what the fuck else am I suppose to listen to?


some albums I plan on doing it to:
Scratch Acid-Self Titled
Metallica-Ride the Lightning
Wageslave demo
Queen Latifah's Black Reign

Hey and please, recommend to me some albums you like to listen to while getting it on.

sexxx and drugzzz

I've touched on this subject lightly in my "levels of a bj" entry but i'd really like to get down and dirty about this.
C-O-C-K-S.
Cool, you said you were huge. Let's see about this.
0h you are totally wrong? or Oh you are totally right (how cocky of you.)
0

hey girls,
I figured out this fail proof way of destroying any and all types of potential relationships with a boy. Do you want to know the answer? You probably already know it. The past 6 years of my sex life has revolved around this theory. If you sleep with a boy before the 3rd "date" you have lost any and all types of respect, girlfriend status, and/or will never talk to them again. It's perfect if you just want a short time fling or one night stand. Let's take this back. Don't let the fellas get the better of you. I am pretty confident that girls slut statuses can be made into an empowering thing. Maybe that is just me or maybe I am confusing feminism with promiscuity.
please tell me what you think.

confused, confused, don't wanna be confused.

Roccamonaut here, shouting out to all my homies in South Bay. They have inspired me to write about hooking up with all of your friends. Hey I'm totally guilty too so fuck it. Lets discuss it man.

Flirting only leads to diseases:

If you are a moderately attractive female its in the cards that you are going to be getting hit on by some of your chump guy friends. This is what gets a lot of girls confused about what's going on with the actual situation. You sir, are just flirting hoping she'd hop into bed with you or at least suck your dick one drunken night after a bar. There's a big difference between trying to get with a girl you don't know and a girl you do. What is the fine line you ask? Just don't even bother. This girl thinks that you are actually interested in her, she probably even has a crush on you already. Unless you have intentions with getting with said girl maybe just move on.

THE FRIEND CARD:

How many do you allow?
Wheres my friend card?
How do I sign up?
Whats the expiration date?
Pastrami sandwiches?
When does it turn into the slut category instead of female sexual liberation?
The answers all are in this entry my friends. Typically the friend card allows 3 uses but many of us have been known to go over the limit. Where am I at you ask? OOf, I couldn't even tell you what my real number is without going into a lot of details about how so and so doesn't count because he doesn't really hang out anymore or he isn't part of the group or whatever. It's just so easy to fall for so many little flirtatious little tricks. Stroking my leg underneath the table during poker games? Taking me out back and making out with me in the bushes? What else..Grabbing my boobs while no one is looking? These things. What the fuck friends? How am I NOT going to want to jump in bed with you after you do all these little tricky things? It's messed up really. There's really no end to this mess. Unless all your friends drop out of life. I like to think every 3 years or so all your debts/payments get cleared and you start fresh! The difference between sleeping with your friends and sleeping with all your friends is simple, you know when you're being a little whore don't you baby girl?

Oh great, we are like dating now?
I'm kidding, am I? Where the fuck is my life going now that I hooked up with one of my good friends. You can't really tell, sometimes it's cool and goes on for a while and sometimes it just makes things really fucking weird. Most of the time it just makes things really weird. That passes though, after a few months. You'll stop hating each other and then things will get back to normal. Hey, maybe even you'll hook up randomly at some party you both are at and if you aren't completely fucked up on four loko you're getting laid tonight. Of course I am only looking at the negatives here but there is always the possibility you'll fall in love, hah.

Friend Card Visa:

How many do you allow?
Wheres my friend card?
How do I sign up?
Whats the expiration date?