Network for women

Can we talk about the Oxygen channel for a second please? There are many things that I find wrong with this station. I can't even begin to describe the lineup besides it being "vulgar, insane, and arrogant to the female species"

First we have the Bad Girls Club. The bad girls club centers around a group of ladies who are just plain assholes. They live together and go party frequently. There isn't any real plot or any tasks for them to fulfill. So what is it they are suppose to learn. From my understanding they are suppose to grow and become better individuals based on their experiences from the house and interacting with each other. What I am really gathering from all this is that they are only going to be worse! It portrays women in such an awful light and showing the men who watch this that we are all backstabbing whores.

Next up is Snapped. Normal, innocent girls who like to go to the mall and maybe even go to rock concerts. Then we throw in a belligerent husband or violent boyfriend who takes them to the next level. You push and push and push us until we can't take it no more. We grab the knife or chloroform and send you straight into hell. There is no middle ground for the ladies. No calling of the cops or talking to a shrink to help us. We only go from moderately insane to bat shit crazy in seconds. CAUTION: girls can only take so much before MURDER! Watch out for the warning signs; baked apple pies that smell funny and the cuddling being a little too tight.

If you are feeling on the fat side today lets take a peak at Dance Your Ass off. Overweight Contestants run a muck in front of an audience and parade around with their bellies flopping about. Here, lets take a mediocre already done premise and make it for girls. What about weight! Excellent. We have the ball rolling. Now include D list celebrity doctors and a BMI scale. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Then there is the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. I wanted to see her try her hand at becoming an agent. After shutting down her agency in LA she fires the plus size girls she tried to book and moves to NY.

There's many more I'd like to mention but I don't want this to be too lengthy. The only awesome shows on the station is reruns of Ellen and Roseanne.

Entitled: Craigslist Strictly Platonic Adventure

Just made a craigslist posting for me and my friend KDD. All we really mentioned was pot, the paranoid album, and maybe some groovy times ahead. I'm really curious as to see where this goes. Lord knows it will only be a bunch of mexican punks who are way to into the misfits and motorhead. I'll edit this posting everytime I get an email.

Levels of a BJ

Lets talk a little about blow jobs. What is it about oral that gets everyone so hot and horny or hey, maybe even a little lockjaw. The other night I was giving my friend "M" head and during the whole process I thought to myself about how much I wasn't even trying. I think the level intensity of a bj can definitely factor in with how much you like them. There's also my theory on how I only give poor bjs to boys who only know poor bjs. Is this a cop out for them? Who cares. When I give out an awesome blow job it's usually to those who excite me tremendously or I WANT to make them feel great.

Size is also an issue here (sorry). If that sounds awful to say but fuck, who wants to give head when you can fit their whole dick easily into your mouth. The challenge of the deep throat is gone, diminished. It's over for you. You're bored, your jaw is getting sore, dry mouth is starting to take over. Not to say that its a completely horrible experience mind you. If you love someone enough you can give them an amazing time just as easily. I don't want anyone to think i'm a complete oral nazi.

Then theres this whole sex being one sided deal. Especially to boys who don't reciprocate the same action for you. Many of them are very uncomfortable with the idea of going down on girls. What the hell dude. How are you going to let me shove your dick into my mouth but not lick some skin down below? Does it really weird you out? Maybe you should get over it and become an adult. If you aren't very good at it you know exactly what to do already. Just ask! Its funny that I say this for only guys but girls do this too. Someone told me once before I was going to go down on them that they hadn't received head in over a year. Their girlfriend at the time said she had something wrong with her jaw. I'm going to go ahead and call bullshit. Maybe she wasn't lying but that is such a bullshit excuse to me.

The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina

Why I don't talk about periods and sex in person.

PERIODS:

To me, periods are the curse of women. Some say Eve brought this upon us but I say that God doesn't exist. Why would a fictional character bring up the shedding of blood inside our walls to all female species who give birth?

Onto why I hate it. Menstruating is something that happens to most women, unless they have health problems. (which I'm not making fun of at all) Why talk about it? We all bleed and have our period underwear we bust out once a month. The awkward moments when our boyfriends dig into our panties and we have to stop them before its too late. It makes me cringe to think about other peoples panties. Go ahead and call me immature but I know we all have it. Lets just not discuss it. Not saying I wont hand you a tampon underneath the bathroom stall or give you my sweater if you bleed through your skirt. I'll always help someone out if they need it.

SEX:

I love, love, love sex. I'll tell you about my latest conquest or me making out with whatshisname outside the bar but I won't go into details. They don't sit well with me, I can't do it. Maybe if i was still in high school i'll tell you what I did to aaron on the floor bathroom in the park. Nowadays I can't help imaging what the other person is doing to their significant other. Call me a pervert all you want. Thats literally why I can not talk about sex. The visuals are nuts. The one thing I will always tell people if something funny happened during said event.

Some favorite quotes:

"On a scale of 1-DICK, rate mine"

"I'm not trying to hurt you or my girlfriend"

"You make me feel young"

"You should be a suicide girl"

"Why won't you kiss me?"

and so forth.

Other:

Honestly, I can get down with talking about most everything else. STD problems, plan B trips, yeast infections, you name it! This was just to explain myself to a few of my friends as to why I am such an awkward chump when it comes to these subjects.

Today I blocked all my narc family members on facebook. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Now back to talking about pussy and drugs.

"NOTHING is good enough." - courtney

COURTNEY, thank you for finding the words i've always wanted to say.

Do you ever feel greedy with your decisions like I do?

I will always be Fry and I'll never get my Leela.

nike cortez shoes

Today I had a great day with my father. We went to Lake Arrowhead and looked at houses for him to retire in. Then we went and saw Alice in Wonderland (sad to say a little disappointed?) We get out of the theatre and of course he messes it up and says "why are there so many gay people around lately?" Okay, stop it right there father. All I could really say back was "why does it matter? are you being serious?" He ignored what I said.

This is what I would say if my dad would listen to me:

You work at a STRIP club dad. How are you going to criticize homosexuals when you do nothing but promote sex? You'd think with such a liberal job you'd stop to think that most of the strippers are probably lesbian or a repressed lesbian. I'm generalizing by my previous experience with the club you work at.

Also, this is what I say to all my homo haters. Who cares what other people are doing with their love lives? Does it really DISGUST you so much to the point as you have to promote hate towards them? Judging what gender you're with is just as bad as saying that your husband is fugly, your kids look retarded, and/or maybe you both should go on a diet. I'd say it's just rude.

I say this, dad.

I've dated girls and if I were to ever love a woman so deeply as to want to marry her you'll be the first person I tell.

two birds

the boy with the crystals can never tell the truth.

he sets for love and only can vouch for deceit.

why is it that the boy will keep the two birds running on their feet?

the trick with love is, the birds will meet.

they will fly and never again greet the boy who ruined ones treat.

going digital

I've been carrying around this black notebook a lot lately. Writing down all of ideas/thoughts/nonsense. The majority is 2:am stoned doodling. Being unemployed has really broke a lot of creative boundaries I had set up for myself over the years. Having so much free time has of course set me up for hours of more TV, lurking facebook, internet dating sites, reading much more about conspiracy theories, and smoking a lot of weed.

What can really come of this? Brainwashing and a lot more criticism towards life. I've noticed myself just cursing at the screen and giving cynical commentary on almost everything. So if you want to read about having fun and enjoying life. I suggest you better turn your back on this journal. It only goes down hill from here.