Blown a wish

Loneliness can be such a depressing feat to conquer. There is so many questions and obstacles to overcome with such a topic. Are you really slumming around because you can't find love? or is it because you just want to find some dude to make you feel (kind of) awesome for the night? I mean, here are some scattered thoughts on my ideals of love.

This one time:

Living in the hood, I shared a bedroom with one boy. We were supposed to be just friends but living alongside someone who is just as into fucking as you are things turn quickly. El pasión can lead to these two people trying to handle the cuddling and warmness you feel laying next to each other. Once you feel that first poke in your back it's pretty much game on. This is what I hated about the situation, I fucking turned into a psycho. Does this happen to every girl? What the fuck? I have never acted like I did in my life. I'm more into the chill wave type of living. Regardless, months went on. I fell deeper into this rabbit hole of what people call the greatest feeling, it was completely one sided for a while. How pathetic feeling. I think i'd rather take some ecstasy honestly. Shit feels way more intense and there is a lot less crying. Anyways, after a bunch of hoop-la I ended up having to move into the dining room and it was kind of an awesome time in there. Back to feeling numb about this once again.

Fuck, this sucks:

Now onto being in love with someone who doesn't love you back or someone who could never know how much you are in love with them. This kills me, I can relate. It's as sad and lame as a teen romantic comedy. Seeing them talk to other girls, talk about others, it makes me feel like a total bitch because i'm completely jealous but I have absolutely no reason to be. The collective we call this being in dire lust. Waiting for that certain boy who makes you want to grab his head and put it right between your crotch. The initial chase is almost intoxicating when you think about it. Will he ever kiss me, could he ever really be with me? What pain to put yourself through. Just fucking get over it and move on to the next cute guy I say (or at least try to tell myself)

What about me? I love having a boyfriend! :

Of course you do bitch. Who doesn't like the idea? If you are happy, fucking great. Me and the rest of the other salty ass sluts can grab the rest of the cocks you aren't getting with. This is what I don't get personally, a lot of girls I know stress out about having a boyfriend or finding "the one". Why am I not the same? I am so content with just having someone around to make out with once in a while or even come sleep in my bed next to me. It's almost endearing sometimes. I'll never really get it. Though a question I always ask myself is "Am I sad all the time and don't know it?" Thats something for Dr. Lipschitz to decide.

So then, what does it take to find someone you can actually be with?

I mean, this is just my personal list of qualities I look for in a solid dude. Maybe you should review them over and if you have the same type of guidelines then you won't be tricked into that awful relationship you had to deal with.

-i need someone on the ball all the time. witty, sarcastic, just like me.

-they would also need to keep this up with my friends, they can be pretty brutal people in my opinion.

-attractive enough

-no vagina (literally and figuratively)

=i can NOT take someone who can't hang listening to something heavier than fucking okkervil river

-really, i need a negative nancy. someone with a fuck the world attitude. no chatty cathys either.

-chivalry, it ain't dead boys.

-over 6'0...this is just a personal preference myself. lovin' those big foots.

-never have slept with any of my mortal enemies. (OOF)

-rather not have any STD'S but thats almost hard to come by now a days.

I've been getting really entertaining emails lately from boys trying to strike up a conversation.

NAUT:

you have an attitude i can get behind

BACONPLZTHNX:

you have a body i can get behind.

COASTOFF:

subject: dare to die

dare to give dead people drugs

what are you talking about?

MRSURFACE:

hello im looking 4 a girl thts going to be nice to me. i read your profile and i liked it some:) so what u say can we be friends?

MRSURFACE:

hey whats up with girls asking 4 group sex on here?

never even responded to the first email. whos asking this fool 4 group sex?

DEEPERLOV:

subject: would you want werewolf or vampire babies?

i would pick werewolf.

and i'd pick a silver bullet i think.

PHYSICSPULEZ:

are you a satan worshipper?

yes, i can only go out with you if you promise me that after i fuck you i get to run your blood all over my naked body.

what we do is secret

Why is it that sexual desires are so much more appealing when they are taboo? This of course entails everyone's dirty little secrets or hidden affairs they try to keep tucked away from their lovers or friends. Hooking up behind other peoples back is seriously a mind fuck sometimes. It can be so passionate and feel so right but it usually only leads to heartbreak or an herpes outbreak. My experiences with this subject matter are of course of top secret nature but I can give away a little bit of the information I have accumulated over the years.

First things first, being cheated on:
What an AWFUL feeling. There's nothing like getting revenge on the skank who blew your boyfriend at that party you couldn't go to because you had a bad headache from that same dumbass. Besides the point, most girls let this slide. Why? It's almost acceptable to let your boyfriend cheat on you at least once, especially if you want to get married right? That girl probably didn't even know he had a girlfriend. Girls however who do know what they are doing: bitches. I won't lie and say that I wasn't a mistress a few times down the line, call me a cunt. Once you are considered a cheater you will always be a cheater. This goes without saying though, its hard to reform anyone nowadays. Mostly we label and call them "sex addicts" nowadays.

Married Men:
Oh you scoundrels and your love for young fleshy 18 year old girls. The best thing about married men is that you usually don't find out about the actual wife until after you have done the deed. I've been tricked more than once (shame on me) into sleeping with one. How was I supposed to know that the stock broker had a bachelor pad he took all his lovers to? What the fuck, you're also 10 years older than what you originally told me? Guess you'll be my first over 35 experience douche lord. The other few men that were spoken for were currently in the divorce process. One thing to know about men with rings: don't bother, they aren't going to leave and be with you when they have some hot MILF wife and maybe a dog.

You fucking cunt:
Fuck, its this section already. Why girls cheat with dudes who have girlfriends. "It's not fair, we liked them first!" is always a good one. Bitch, get over it! It's sometimes hard to do so I understand. Especially when the boys are straight up studs or the loves of your life. Still no excuse to hurt another girls feelings. Anyways, I am a hypocrite. It's not like I haven't ever done something like that. Then theres the girls who were under the impression that they were the ones being cheated on. Lets talk about my first boyfriend for a second.. we will call him AJ. What a lovely summer romance we shared! Guess who send me an instant message? His girlfriend! hahaha goddamnit! Was I mad at AJ? No, I was mad at the girl!He lied and told me I was his girlfriend when he really had one back home. We even went to prom together years later! What the fuck is wrong with girls?! CLEARLY its AJ's fault. So the point is girls need to not haze other girls so badly for this. Sometimes it's not their intentions to hurt other people.

Girls who DO the cheating: Easy section (literally easy)
Your boyfriend must not be sexually equipped if you know what I mean. Maybe he's gained some weight or got lazy too. OR you could just be a drunk slut.

Random Tangent Secrets most boys have:
rape scenarios, filthy underwear, cheating, ass to mouth (you never go ass to mouth), urine and fecal matter play, asain girls, fantasies about having sex with teachers, etc.