potential over gross playlist
xibalba-
bad dreams-
two shaman-
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
something you can do with your finger.
Unlocking the great mystery of what is in between a girls legs has been punishing the human psyche for hundreds of years. In Africa and some parts of Asia, they preform a surgery that is believed to be a rite of passage into womanhood nicknamed FGM: Female Genital Mutilation. Clitoridectomies get forced on women everyday because of lack of better judgement or skeptisicism of why a women can have something of this function and have no use besides pleasure. In America we don't really see this violent nature hand in hand with stupidity. Rape is just about as far we like to push it.
Instead, we have what is his face jack pretending to embrace a womans labia but the asshole doesn't even realize what is what down there. God, the amount of examples I could give in this article. I'll only touch base with the major flaws I can think of. When you first feel into a girls panties is your first instinct to push down on said flower until it is brown and wilted. I'm kidding, that is your butthole.
you are going to make me bleed dude:
I've always gotten a weird read on lovers who just can't seem to not want to smash the fuck out of your vagina with their sausages. I know you girls know what I am talking about. It is almost as if they think that your clit has been out of reach and so phased out that they better make sure you can really feel it. Sir, you are going to make me desensitized if you are going to keep rubbing and pulling hard. This isn't a video game, let us not smash the buttons and pound on the dashboard until it squirts out tickets for more fun. Think of it more like a laptop mini mouse eraser type deal. Soft and patient and you'll be able to click the next page. Too fast or too hard makes the computer break. Sorry, I just watched this psychedelic our society is a computer operating system video on youtube the other day. It made me associate reality with the technology world. Still waiting for Keanu to come visit me in my dreams, white rabbit. There are the times when getting two fingers stuck up your hot snatch feels really awesome too. Just make sure you cut your fingernails. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I mean, this is so cliche but really, ask a girl what is up. This is the best way to avoid knicks and cuts and potentially loosing all feelings in your labia all together.
coy boys and no toys:
Second on my "annoyances of sexually deprived young adults and you" list is something that has been bothering me for a while. This whole I'll kinda play around with you but I expect you to give me a full blowjob deal. Scenario: We are making out, you start to diddle in my panties and that is where things take a turn for the very bad. You don't know where the clit is first of all, so this whole thing is a waste. You feeling my lips is not appealing or sexy at all. Infact, it is pretty annoying and definitely really frustrating especially since this is the first time you've gotten any action since that one time you did ectasy at your work party and ended up hooking up with your friend in the most sloppy way possible. This is your redemption and you get stuck with the shyest boy in town. I seem like such a pretentious bitch talking about how its either too soft or too hard but is it really that difficult to get? I mean, its skin for christ sake. I'm not going to give your dick an indian burn or just a kiss on the head. Continuing on with this rant, this isn't about not knowing where the parts are, this is about touching them for about 2.5 seconds before you move on to directing my hand to your pants. That is the last time I will see any action in my panties personally. Unless of course I am desperate enough to sleep with you.
there is one ticket to brown town:
Let us talk about this (literal) shit for a second. The only thing that urks me in its entirety is when you suddenly get flip of the wrist and a finger in the butt. Maybe I am still semi-prude when it comes to asshole play but fuck do I hate this. I literally get the heebie jeebies thinking about it. Now, don't get me wrong. I have had some pretty amazing intimate moments where this was part of the action and it was way more than awesome but I think for the regular John Doe its probably safe to say that unless a girl knows you are going south of the border its better to stop at the gooch and check into customs and see if you can get past claims. Wow that was a lot of metaphors in one entry. Maybe next time I'll just get submissions of peoples stories and post them instead.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
the world is lazy but you and me were just crazy.
the thing that i couldn't shake the past 5 months was the amount of pressure i have been feeling on myself to find someone to be with. it's weird, when you are alone so much you really come to terms with who you are. whether it be good or bad growing up is something we all have to face and try to at least better ourselves by realizing the mistakes and awful decisions you put onto yourself since graduating high school. mistakes I have made?
credit score 0:
fuck, i really made sure i couldn't get out the of whole when i was 18. did a really good job at it. looks like all those tattoos i charged and sidekicks i bought made my life a complete and utter financial hell for me currently. i know its not the hardest thing to recover from, especially since most of the economically depressed 20 year olds are more or less in the same boat as me. the only solution from this point is to pay off all your debts and if the only way you know how to is suck that dick, you better start sucking. when did i start the econonaut? when i woke up at 630 pm and realized that i slept 16 hours on purpose. if your dream life is more fullfilling than your conscious, its time to make some steps and try to approve your life in any way possible.
one night stands:
dude, if i could take back most, if not all of these bad boys i would in a second. sure, it makes up a large part of who i am and all the funny stories/situations that most of my database is made up of but was it really worth it? probably not, i think i would have a lot less problems if i just didn't let these get the best of me. its really hard to turn down free, unemotional sex though. really really hard. especially with guys who represent every hot subsititute teacher you've had, skeezy rich producers, lots of introverted writers and also "screenwriters" (jokes in themselves), hot insecure indie boys who use okcupid like myspace, potentially hot DILFS, etc. i could probably list off a whole slew of people who take it upon themselves to only engage in fucking once then bailing. its a great way to fill up the dark void inside yourself but after a while it starts to get stale and the amount of trips to planned parenthood begins to become a regular thing, it is time to re-evaluate your pussy path.
passing the #3 mark:
you are allowed to have sex with up to 3 of your friends. you better make those count because once you pass the third one it really only goes down hill from there. that is when you start to feel like you connect with a bunch of them and then all of a sudden you have kissed most of the friend group. shit, better keep most of them a secret. you can't really feel a connection with all of them but you do. that is why you are a girl and they are brothers.
not finishing college:
this is something that i really wish and think about going back to relatively often. the only thing is, most of my friends who have graduated with a 4 year degree have more or less the same job they could have even if they didn't have it. i guess its something that i could just do and have but then the whole having no financial support thing gets in the way and im back at square one. better continue my movie career...
maybe it was all the acid i did last week in joshua tree that made me come to this realization, maybe not. as i was surrounded by people i have once loved kiss someone else these implusive urges to hook up with someone new came flushing torwards my brain. epiphonies have been going in and out and have almost been driving me towards insanity. one thing that it did trigger was my inspiration to write about how much i dislike my life and just the general "i need to write more" energy.
credit score 0:
fuck, i really made sure i couldn't get out the of whole when i was 18. did a really good job at it. looks like all those tattoos i charged and sidekicks i bought made my life a complete and utter financial hell for me currently. i know its not the hardest thing to recover from, especially since most of the economically depressed 20 year olds are more or less in the same boat as me. the only solution from this point is to pay off all your debts and if the only way you know how to is suck that dick, you better start sucking. when did i start the econonaut? when i woke up at 630 pm and realized that i slept 16 hours on purpose. if your dream life is more fullfilling than your conscious, its time to make some steps and try to approve your life in any way possible.
one night stands:
dude, if i could take back most, if not all of these bad boys i would in a second. sure, it makes up a large part of who i am and all the funny stories/situations that most of my database is made up of but was it really worth it? probably not, i think i would have a lot less problems if i just didn't let these get the best of me. its really hard to turn down free, unemotional sex though. really really hard. especially with guys who represent every hot subsititute teacher you've had, skeezy rich producers, lots of introverted writers and also "screenwriters" (jokes in themselves), hot insecure indie boys who use okcupid like myspace, potentially hot DILFS, etc. i could probably list off a whole slew of people who take it upon themselves to only engage in fucking once then bailing. its a great way to fill up the dark void inside yourself but after a while it starts to get stale and the amount of trips to planned parenthood begins to become a regular thing, it is time to re-evaluate your pussy path.
passing the #3 mark:
you are allowed to have sex with up to 3 of your friends. you better make those count because once you pass the third one it really only goes down hill from there. that is when you start to feel like you connect with a bunch of them and then all of a sudden you have kissed most of the friend group. shit, better keep most of them a secret. you can't really feel a connection with all of them but you do. that is why you are a girl and they are brothers.
not finishing college:
this is something that i really wish and think about going back to relatively often. the only thing is, most of my friends who have graduated with a 4 year degree have more or less the same job they could have even if they didn't have it. i guess its something that i could just do and have but then the whole having no financial support thing gets in the way and im back at square one. better continue my movie career...
maybe it was all the acid i did last week in joshua tree that made me come to this realization, maybe not. as i was surrounded by people i have once loved kiss someone else these implusive urges to hook up with someone new came flushing torwards my brain. epiphonies have been going in and out and have almost been driving me towards insanity. one thing that it did trigger was my inspiration to write about how much i dislike my life and just the general "i need to write more" energy.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
pull down the sheets, take off your clothes, get out of bed.
Back from my "Hiatus" or really just finally not working. What has my time off this past 2 weeks lead me to? Reviving all the death rock records I missed out listening to while I was gone and sleeping a whole fucking lot. Now that I am essentially couch surfing and kinda bed hopping (with friends, not dudes) I thought I'd give the shout out to my old friend and now recent foe, cuddling. Whether it be with your hook up or significant other I think we could all really use some guidelines to ultimately make the bed a more enjoyable, peaceful, and tingly free place.
"Hey, I've slept with you and you are a HUGE cuddler, hypocrite!"
this might be going through some of your heads if you've ever slept in the same bed with me overnight. Well hey, fuck you! I am trying to improve myself and step one is eliminate 85% of the heat trapping nonsense that once was on my mind. Sometimes, it seems very forced and why bother?
My arm is asleep, not my brain.
In no way am I hating on "Sleep Hugging" or the ideas and love/lust that are associated with it. To be clear I am mostly worried about how much sleep I am really getting throughout the night and it can't be much if your arm is separating my head from the pillow. I've decided I do no want to be entangled all night. The other night I fell asleep next to someone on a couch and I was dying for about 2 hours. Him, sound and precious looking; while I was big spoon with my hip sore as a whores mouth and my arm numb enough to stab a hot pen through. No sleep for the wicked. I finally gave up and went to his bed alone, sprawled on his soft sheets with 3 pillows surrounding me. I had a great rest.
Beware of Flashlight Syndrome.
Before everyone jumps the gun and thinks that I never want to cuddle I want to make it clear that I do however love it in the right circumstances. Did we just have a hot session? Fuck yeah I want to be close to you. Spooning on the couch and feeling something that could light up a room? I don't think thats a flashlight..
Solutions?:
Now, I might be having a bit of memory loss but I believe it was either Seinfeld or Friends that touched on this subject. So lets give the "tuck and roll" trick a try. Depending on who falls asleep first, the ladder partner will give one final squeeze to the partner and then slowly roll them off their arm. Free to move around and be comfortable with out feeling guilty. When the sun comes up or either one of you half wake up its back to the assumed position. Sounds like a great start to me.
Relative Questions:
"one night stands and cuddling?, throw a towel at them or rub against splooge?, kiss after a bj?" entertain yourself if you must with what answers you'd like to give yourself.
"Hey, I've slept with you and you are a HUGE cuddler, hypocrite!"
this might be going through some of your heads if you've ever slept in the same bed with me overnight. Well hey, fuck you! I am trying to improve myself and step one is eliminate 85% of the heat trapping nonsense that once was on my mind. Sometimes, it seems very forced and why bother?
My arm is asleep, not my brain.
In no way am I hating on "Sleep Hugging" or the ideas and love/lust that are associated with it. To be clear I am mostly worried about how much sleep I am really getting throughout the night and it can't be much if your arm is separating my head from the pillow. I've decided I do no want to be entangled all night. The other night I fell asleep next to someone on a couch and I was dying for about 2 hours. Him, sound and precious looking; while I was big spoon with my hip sore as a whores mouth and my arm numb enough to stab a hot pen through. No sleep for the wicked. I finally gave up and went to his bed alone, sprawled on his soft sheets with 3 pillows surrounding me. I had a great rest.
Beware of Flashlight Syndrome.
Before everyone jumps the gun and thinks that I never want to cuddle I want to make it clear that I do however love it in the right circumstances. Did we just have a hot session? Fuck yeah I want to be close to you. Spooning on the couch and feeling something that could light up a room? I don't think thats a flashlight..
Solutions?:
Now, I might be having a bit of memory loss but I believe it was either Seinfeld or Friends that touched on this subject. So lets give the "tuck and roll" trick a try. Depending on who falls asleep first, the ladder partner will give one final squeeze to the partner and then slowly roll them off their arm. Free to move around and be comfortable with out feeling guilty. When the sun comes up or either one of you half wake up its back to the assumed position. Sounds like a great start to me.
Relative Questions:
"one night stands and cuddling?, throw a towel at them or rub against splooge?, kiss after a bj?" entertain yourself if you must with what answers you'd like to give yourself.
gags
Since I haven't updated the Roccamonaut in quite sometime I thought i'd do a "gag reel" of all my attempted entries that never made the final publishing process.
3/8/10
Untitled.
Today I blocked all my narc family members on facebook. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Now back to talking about pussy and drugs.
Meh, still agree with this but I am pretty sure it didn't need to be on here. Good facebook status update though.
3/18/10
Entitled: Craigslist Strictly Platonic Adventure
Just made a craigslist posting for me and my friend KDD. All we really mentioned was pot, the paranoid album, and maybe some groovy times ahead. I'm really curious as to see where this goes. Lord knows it will only be a bunch of mexican punks who are way to into the misfits and motorhead. I'll edit this posting everytime I get an email.
Said Posting:
metal headettes seeking metal heads
Where are you at?
We are two groovy girls seeking a pair of dudes who are into the same things we are.
420, head banging, taking trips to the desert, checking out the observatory, or you name it.
please be into: Al Cisneros or Paranoid. Preferably have long hair and maybe a solid beard.
You know why this failed? Craigslist changed their security settings so you had to have a real phone number that they could confirm. At the time I didn't have a phone I could give. End experiment. I do however, highly believe that I will try this once again. Now that I have my business phone up and running it's time for the ol second try. I can think of a few changes i'd make to the posting as well. Maybe not mention metal first of all. You know the ratio of hotties who are into doom in comparison to gross trolls? It's slim pickins for us girls. I am almost certain that I know most of the good looking ones and they all come from either san pedro or cypress.
5/5/10
Failed love attempts from boys.
Theres honestly so much html I can't even focus on what any of this garbage says to me. Some witty responses were given to each email but it's all jumble and probably not even funny.
6/15/10
Con't of blowjobs.
I've touched on this subject lightly in my "levels of a bj" entry but i'd really like to get down and dirty about this.
C-O-C-K-S.
Cool, you said you were huge. Let's see about this.
0h you are totally wrong? or Oh you are totally right (how cocky of you.)
0
What the fuck am I talking about? Someone shove a fucking cock in my mouth already and shut me the fuck up.
10/9/10
Weird days always end up in good sex.
Believe it girls. You ever think to yourself; "geez, is it a peculiar day?". Better go get laid. You'll only surprise yourself in the end.
3/8/10
Untitled.
Today I blocked all my narc family members on facebook. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Now back to talking about pussy and drugs.
Meh, still agree with this but I am pretty sure it didn't need to be on here. Good facebook status update though.
3/18/10
Entitled: Craigslist Strictly Platonic Adventure
Just made a craigslist posting for me and my friend KDD. All we really mentioned was pot, the paranoid album, and maybe some groovy times ahead. I'm really curious as to see where this goes. Lord knows it will only be a bunch of mexican punks who are way to into the misfits and motorhead. I'll edit this posting everytime I get an email.
Said Posting:
metal headettes seeking metal heads
Where are you at?
We are two groovy girls seeking a pair of dudes who are into the same things we are.
420, head banging, taking trips to the desert, checking out the observatory, or you name it.
please be into: Al Cisneros or Paranoid. Preferably have long hair and maybe a solid beard.
You know why this failed? Craigslist changed their security settings so you had to have a real phone number that they could confirm. At the time I didn't have a phone I could give. End experiment. I do however, highly believe that I will try this once again. Now that I have my business phone up and running it's time for the ol second try. I can think of a few changes i'd make to the posting as well. Maybe not mention metal first of all. You know the ratio of hotties who are into doom in comparison to gross trolls? It's slim pickins for us girls. I am almost certain that I know most of the good looking ones and they all come from either san pedro or cypress.
5/5/10
Failed love attempts from boys.
I've been getting really entertaining emails lately from boys trying to strike up a conversation.
NAUT:
you have an attitude i can get behind
BACONPLZTHNX:
you have a body i can get behind.
CASTOFF:
subject: dare to die
dare to give dead people drugs
what are you talking about?
MRSURFACE:
hello im looking 4 a girl thts going to be nice to me. i read your profile and i liked it some:) so what u say can we be friends?
MRSURFCE:
hey whats up with girls asking 4 group sex on here?
never even responded to the first email. whos asking this fool 4 group sex?
DEEPERLV:
subject: would you want werewolf or vampire babies?
i would pick werewolf.
and i'd pick a silver bullet i think.
PHYSICSPLEZ:
are you a satan worshipper?
yes, i can only go out with you if you promise me that after i fuck you i get to run your blood all over my naked body.
Theres honestly so much html I can't even focus on what any of this garbage says to me. Some witty responses were given to each email but it's all jumble and probably not even funny.
6/15/10
Con't of blowjobs.
I've touched on this subject lightly in my "levels of a bj" entry but i'd really like to get down and dirty about this.
C-O-C-K-S.
Cool, you said you were huge. Let's see about this.
0h you are totally wrong? or Oh you are totally right (how cocky of you.)
0
What the fuck am I talking about? Someone shove a fucking cock in my mouth already and shut me the fuck up.
10/9/10
Weird days always end up in good sex.
Believe it girls. You ever think to yourself; "geez, is it a peculiar day?". Better go get laid. You'll only surprise yourself in the end.
Friday, September 3, 2010
You think you really know me.
What does it take to finally say enough? All these years that I have been tormenting myself with boy after boy it's almost like a sick joke I keep playing on myself. ck about all my previous Then I have to think baIt all started when my parents divorced.
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