pull down the sheets, take off your clothes, get out of bed.

Back from my "Hiatus" or really just finally not working. What has my time off this past 2 weeks lead me to? Reviving all the death rock records I missed out listening to while I was gone and sleeping a whole fucking lot. Now that I am essentially couch surfing and kinda bed hopping (with friends, not dudes) I thought I'd give the shout out to my old friend and now recent foe, cuddling. Whether it be with your hook up or significant other I think we could all really use some guidelines to ultimately make the bed a more enjoyable, peaceful, and tingly free place.

"Hey, I've slept with you and you are a HUGE cuddler, hypocrite!"
this might be going through some of your heads if you've ever slept in the same bed with me overnight. Well hey, fuck you! I am trying to improve myself and step one is eliminate 85% of the heat trapping nonsense that once was on my mind. Sometimes, it seems very forced and why bother?

My arm is asleep, not my brain.
In no way am I hating on "Sleep Hugging" or the ideas and love/lust that are associated with it. To be clear I am mostly worried about how much sleep I am really getting throughout the night and it can't be much if your arm is separating my head from the pillow. I've decided I do no want to be entangled all night. The other night I fell asleep next to someone on a couch and I was dying for about 2 hours. Him, sound and precious looking; while I was big spoon with my hip sore as a whores mouth and my arm numb enough to stab a hot pen through. No sleep for the wicked. I finally gave up and went to his bed alone, sprawled on his soft sheets with 3 pillows surrounding me. I had a great rest.

Beware of Flashlight Syndrome.
Before everyone jumps the gun and thinks that I never want to cuddle I want to make it clear that I do however love it in the right circumstances. Did we just have a hot session? Fuck yeah I want to be close to you. Spooning on the couch and feeling something that could light up a room? I don't think thats a flashlight..

Solutions?:
Now, I might be having a bit of memory loss but I believe it was either Seinfeld or Friends that touched on this subject. So lets give the "tuck and roll" trick a try. Depending on who falls asleep first, the ladder partner will give one final squeeze to the partner and then slowly roll them off their arm. Free to move around and be comfortable with out feeling guilty. When the sun comes up or either one of you half wake up its back to the assumed position. Sounds like a great start to me.

Relative Questions:
"one night stands and cuddling?, throw a towel at them or rub against splooge?, kiss after a bj?" entertain yourself if you must with what answers you'd like to give yourself.