Friday, September 3, 2010
You think you really know me.
What does it take to finally say enough? All these years that I have been tormenting myself with boy after boy it's almost like a sick joke I keep playing on myself. ck about all my previous Then I have to think baIt all started when my parents divorced.
Friday, July 16, 2010
My love, the pleasure's mine
This guy I kinda know gave me the idea to write about sex and drugs. You know what’s weird about that guy now? I kinda wanted to sleep with him but now he is dating this girl that used to be MARRIED (now divorced) to this guy I was sleeping with prior to their marriage. Small world is all, he’s still kinda cool I guess.
Shroom Sex:
The one time I did it I had definitely already admitted on the car ride to his place that I was a sucker for teen girl movies. I mean I was blabbing about mean girls, aquamarine, etc. I had recently seen the bratz dollz movie previously that week and told him that I watched it.
“Girlfriend, you are already being a weirdo 10 minutes in the car? Better start talking about something else.” -my brain telling me what to do
Then he fucked me doggy style in his bed while I was hallucinating. You think that is weird? Imagine me and Courtney freaking out in front of the laserium next to the scientology building trying not to have a panic attack. So what was up next? I thought, No better way than to get my brains pushed out down the street by my friend. I left C’s and then.. Anyways, the feeling of ecstasy was flowing through my body the entire time and it felt pretty amazing. Maybe if I wasn’t so…gone.. it would’ve been a lot more enjoyable and a lot less of those awkward silences.
Pot Sex:
Whenever I get high and fuck it's always a little off in the beginning.
You just put down the bong, your eyes are all blood shot and lets face it,; you are lookin pretty rough there yourself. Sometimes I am not sure if I just wanna pass out or if I actually have to crawl over the bed (or couch) and initiate this.
If time isn’t a real factor or its my pad I usually throw a little music on and really like to feel like I’m in a sexy Chris Isaac video. Let the sexiness start.
I’ve also noticed a high increase of cowgirl and missionary. Is it the laziness showing through?
Acid Sex:
n/a
Ecstasy Sex: limp dick? Was that the general consensus for everyone?
Coke Sex: Just angry I suppose. I can’t really remember if I have ever gotten a chance to do this or not. You know what I say though? Not so much an intimate drug. You don’t want any hot milf bitches overdosing on her couch while you think she’s cumming do you?
DRUNDSFLKJSDK Sex:
I had, had, had to include this because fuck me, have I had some extremely incredible experiences and i've also had some real stomach turners.
Ever think about all those bad blow jobs you gave out during those times? I do. I am almost embarrassed thinking about it and almost want to make it up to (most) of the guys that this happened too. You stink of booze and god knows what else and then kiss some other doofus who is hopefully just as drunk as you are. Kissing/making out while drunk is a pretty amazing and almost a way to get closer to those people you weren't before ;-) but seriously, if you ever see me go into a closed door again at a party please stop me.
I can't just end this on a bad party note, grab a few bottles of wine or some delicious beer and get drunk with your "boyfriend" and it will be more or less fun i guess.
Shroom Sex:
The one time I did it I had definitely already admitted on the car ride to his place that I was a sucker for teen girl movies. I mean I was blabbing about mean girls, aquamarine, etc. I had recently seen the bratz dollz movie previously that week and told him that I watched it.
“Girlfriend, you are already being a weirdo 10 minutes in the car? Better start talking about something else.” -my brain telling me what to do
Then he fucked me doggy style in his bed while I was hallucinating. You think that is weird? Imagine me and Courtney freaking out in front of the laserium next to the scientology building trying not to have a panic attack. So what was up next? I thought, No better way than to get my brains pushed out down the street by my friend. I left C’s and then.. Anyways, the feeling of ecstasy was flowing through my body the entire time and it felt pretty amazing. Maybe if I wasn’t so…gone.. it would’ve been a lot more enjoyable and a lot less of those awkward silences.
Pot Sex:
Whenever I get high and fuck it's always a little off in the beginning.
You just put down the bong, your eyes are all blood shot and lets face it,; you are lookin pretty rough there yourself. Sometimes I am not sure if I just wanna pass out or if I actually have to crawl over the bed (or couch) and initiate this.
If time isn’t a real factor or its my pad I usually throw a little music on and really like to feel like I’m in a sexy Chris Isaac video. Let the sexiness start.
I’ve also noticed a high increase of cowgirl and missionary. Is it the laziness showing through?
Acid Sex:
n/a
Ecstasy Sex: limp dick? Was that the general consensus for everyone?
Coke Sex: Just angry I suppose. I can’t really remember if I have ever gotten a chance to do this or not. You know what I say though? Not so much an intimate drug. You don’t want any hot milf bitches overdosing on her couch while you think she’s cumming do you?
DRUNDSFLKJSDK Sex:
I had, had, had to include this because fuck me, have I had some extremely incredible experiences and i've also had some real stomach turners.
Ever think about all those bad blow jobs you gave out during those times? I do. I am almost embarrassed thinking about it and almost want to make it up to (most) of the guys that this happened too. You stink of booze and god knows what else and then kiss some other doofus who is hopefully just as drunk as you are. Kissing/making out while drunk is a pretty amazing and almost a way to get closer to those people you weren't before ;-) but seriously, if you ever see me go into a closed door again at a party please stop me.
I can't just end this on a bad party note, grab a few bottles of wine or some delicious beer and get drunk with your "boyfriend" and it will be more or less fun i guess.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.
...37.
But really, someone asked me the other day what my number was. This brings up a great question. What is in a number? Of course any lady wouldn't flat out say what it REALLY is. It could be 256 for all they know. My friend Pepper used to have different variations of the number point system. The "resume" number. Only the best go on your resume. Oh, guess that means I have slept with 5 people! Awesome, I am 16 again. It feels great really and do I say... fresh even? Of course the whole being a huge whore thing plays a big part in girls who usually sleep with over 100+ people but who the fuck cares. I am not vouching for girls that sleep with hollister mcdouchbag at every frat party in the upstairs bedroom. I like to think that there are some girls who can just be liberated and sleep with just as many guys as to those men who are labeled as casanovas, studs, and even your local pimps.
This is a hard stereotype to diminish. The only example I can think of is Samantha from Sex in the City. But fuck her, I get compared to that old slutbag all the time. The only credit that lady needs is that she wore a pretty sick pink wig once. I am talking about girls who don't give a fuck about what people think and just wanna rock out and kiss a few boys a long the way.
Okay, enough of my stupid banter about how I am trying to accept the fact that I am a little promiscuous. Is there really enough reason to believe that everyone (i am including boys) who has a high number has an STD or daddy problems? I don't think so. The majority yes, but come the fuck on. Think about the 70's and free love and all that jazz. Those dirty sailors never used condoms. Now look at us, in 2010 we use dental dams and flavored black magnum condoms to protect us from all colds our private parts we could possibly get. Hell even the worst disease of all, babies.
But really, someone asked me the other day what my number was. This brings up a great question. What is in a number? Of course any lady wouldn't flat out say what it REALLY is. It could be 256 for all they know. My friend Pepper used to have different variations of the number point system. The "resume" number. Only the best go on your resume. Oh, guess that means I have slept with 5 people! Awesome, I am 16 again. It feels great really and do I say... fresh even? Of course the whole being a huge whore thing plays a big part in girls who usually sleep with over 100+ people but who the fuck cares. I am not vouching for girls that sleep with hollister mcdouchbag at every frat party in the upstairs bedroom. I like to think that there are some girls who can just be liberated and sleep with just as many guys as to those men who are labeled as casanovas, studs, and even your local pimps.
This is a hard stereotype to diminish. The only example I can think of is Samantha from Sex in the City. But fuck her, I get compared to that old slutbag all the time. The only credit that lady needs is that she wore a pretty sick pink wig once. I am talking about girls who don't give a fuck about what people think and just wanna rock out and kiss a few boys a long the way.
Okay, enough of my stupid banter about how I am trying to accept the fact that I am a little promiscuous. Is there really enough reason to believe that everyone (i am including boys) who has a high number has an STD or daddy problems? I don't think so. The majority yes, but come the fuck on. Think about the 70's and free love and all that jazz. Those dirty sailors never used condoms. Now look at us, in 2010 we use dental dams and flavored black magnum condoms to protect us from all colds our private parts we could possibly get. Hell even the worst disease of all, babies.
Monday, June 21, 2010
super sexy swinging sounds
I've complied a few albums I like to throw on while fucking/making love (depending on my mood and partner).
My Bloody Valentine-Loveless: Lets be stoned and listen to this whilst making out. Shit gets hot and heavy really quick.
Big Black-Songs About Fucking: One of my post-punk art project boyfriends LOVED putting this on and you know what? I enjoy it highly too. It's perfect for day time sex.
Massive Attack-Mezzanine: This was my go-to album for a while. You can't go wrong with trip-hop playing kinda low in the background.
Sleep-Holy Mountain: Okay, I won't lie. Being stoned and having sex is the best feeling in the world. Why wouldn't I want to listen to a band that makes me feel awesome when I listen to it? It only ups my pleasure experience to a whole other level. Plus, I could listen to this album everyday and not get sick of it.
Bauhaus- In the Flat Field: What a great album regardless. I'd like to thank Zoe for introducing me to this album not too long ago. It's pretty perfect for those times when you want to use razor blades on your partner and pull their long black hair before you give them mass amounts of hickeys.
Black Sabbath-Paranoid: Specifically because Planet Caravan is the sexiest song I will ever hear from a band that loves Satan.
Marilyn Manson- Mechanical Animals: How goth/nu-metal do I come off as? Well goddamn-it, what the fuck else am I suppose to listen to?
some albums I plan on doing it to:
Scratch Acid-Self Titled
Metallica-Ride the Lightning
Wageslave demo
Queen Latifah's Black Reign
Hey and please, recommend to me some albums you like to listen to while getting it on.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
hey girls,
I figured out this fail proof way of destroying any and all types of potential relationships with a boy. Do you want to know the answer? You probably already know it. The past 6 years of my sex life has revolved around this theory. If you sleep with a boy before the 3rd "date" you have lost any and all types of respect, girlfriend status, and/or will never talk to them again. It's perfect if you just want a short time fling or one night stand. Let's take this back. Don't let the fellas get the better of you. I am pretty confident that girls slut statuses can be made into an empowering thing. Maybe that is just me or maybe I am confusing feminism with promiscuity.
please tell me what you think.
I figured out this fail proof way of destroying any and all types of potential relationships with a boy. Do you want to know the answer? You probably already know it. The past 6 years of my sex life has revolved around this theory. If you sleep with a boy before the 3rd "date" you have lost any and all types of respect, girlfriend status, and/or will never talk to them again. It's perfect if you just want a short time fling or one night stand. Let's take this back. Don't let the fellas get the better of you. I am pretty confident that girls slut statuses can be made into an empowering thing. Maybe that is just me or maybe I am confusing feminism with promiscuity.
please tell me what you think.
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